1. Unpassionate. I already have too much mediocrity in my life that I refuse to take any shit from people who are careless and indifferent. Heck, I'm already one of these people (Hi, hypocrisy) I need people to inspire me, to make use of my bottomless well of love. Because I have one and it needs to be used by deserving people of the world who are overflowing with passion for life and other people.
   
2. Not enjoying /having extreme abhorage for boybands. If you haven't already noticed, I LOVE boybands. I mean, COME ON! Boybands are freaking legends! I don't know of what but they just are! I seriously think I would become a better person if I knew all the dance routines to every existing boyband hits. Good and bad. That will be one of my life goals. Time to search the internet for dance videos.
   

I've been watching old late 90's music videos this past couple of days and it has been a blast having these mini-strokes from laughing and remiscing all the times I had as a kid. Very good times.

This is what I miss when I dont come home for the weekends.

So remember this cat? The once dying cat under the stairway that we took home all the way from Las Pinas, the one we took care of and then stayed with us for a few days then ran away then came back again?

  She's staying with us for good now. She grew into a feisty young kitten and she has become quite a menace to our house, scratching and biting people, pooping inside our house (and she poops in hidden places! So it's a pain in the ass to clean up after her), using our slippers as her bed (which is adorable by the way) and the other day, she did the last straw to piss my father off enough to drive him to send her away.

My dad often has friends over since none of us are in the house anymore and they order pizza and what not for the visitors. He prepared a slice of pizza on a plate for his bud and the cat being a menace, came out of nowhere and attacked the pizza, breaking the plate in the process and then running away taking the pizza with it. My dad, being the old cranky man that he is, blew up into an old cranky man that he is.

Fast forward to dinner.

Dad: Ipapatapon ko na yang pusa!
Dico (my brother who rescued the cat with me): Bat nyo itatapon? Lagot kayo kay Angeli! (that's me)
Dad: ANONG LAGOT? KAYO ITATAPON KO EH!

Dad finishes his dinner, leaves the table and mom and Dico are left. Mom notices that Dico is crying and then Dico mutters in this dark, raspy, murderer manner. "Masamang tao talaga yang si daddy!"

Lesson no. 1: Do not piss off people at the dining table. Because at the dining table, hearts are more tender and the slightest bad words will send a 200-pound man crying on his chicken and rice (or whatever they were eating that time)

Lesson no. 2: Do NOT throw away rescued cats. Because they are smart, they know their way and when you think you lost them for good, you wake up and open the door, she is there, sleeping on your slippers. (this happened by the way. and when my mom told me that I told myself, no one's touching the cat unless they go through me!)

Lesson no. 3: Always go home on the weekends so you don't miss family drama like this. But knowing myself, I'd just be swallowing my giggles on the dinner table. and wishing I would disappear.

I cried when my mother told me this. from laughing and from something else.

I am not good with keeping up with this AT ALL. Remember the days when I post more than 1 entry a day and everything was so dramatic then? I havent had major drama in my life for the past few days and I dont know if I hate or like it. It's impossible for me to have a drama-free and a happy life at the same time. It's either life is messy or just boring.

I just wish life could be intense again. Like hold your breath, roller coaster, pulling each other intense again. Is it weird that I'm complaining that I'm breathing easy?

Anyway, I told myself no more absenses for work! But I failed myself yesterday because I had to skip it because of stomach issues. I'm worried that they're gonna fire me. If they fire me, it's back to the parent's house, gaining weight, feeling worthless and all that.

Last night, I was in a big-ass family reunion. I hate family reunions. It's all just a bunch of loud people, people you haven't seen in years asking you personal questions, people asking about your work. And people asking my most dreaded question of all: How are you?

This people saw me grow up and naturally since I'm old now they would ask if I have anyone special in my life. Ok, normally, being the obnoxious person in me, I would make a disgusted face with a resounding NO! Which I did but really, I wish I said something along the lines of this:

"Jill, Do you have a boyfriend?"

1. "Yes, he's a musician in this really cool rockband, they're really underground so only cool people know about them. He's in Prague now touring. He's a sexy motherfucker and we have rumbustious sex in his massive hotel bed when he's in town. Oh, and I'm carrying his rockstar baby right now." *then downs beer* (ok, I would never do that. That's stupid. But it still sounds badass.)
2. "He's in Africa now trying to look for solutions to world hunger. One day we're going to adapt a baby there and make a little family. We still haven't had sex. We're saving ourselves for marriage." *then downs milk chocolate*
3. "He died of Leukemia. But I was able to make him witness a miracle." *then choir singing and downs holy water*
4. "Relax, people! I will probably bring someone to one of these things when I turn 25! or at least when I find someone amazing. He's gonna be wonderful and he will win the hearts of all of you! Mark my words! You will all fall in love with him and wish he would marry you instead and not me but he won't do that because he's so madly in love with me and is again, amazing and wonderful."

I was shouting the last one in my head but decided to make a face with a resounding NO! 

***

I decided to eat the buffet food and drink beer (open bar!!) and get it over with. After a few drinks, everything just went by smoother. I got to spend time with my brothers. I miss them. I miss Dico and I miss the two of us making fun of Kuya when he drinks (because he doesnt. At all. He drinks a few and then passes out or throws up or something.) And I got to listen to stories of the coolest Auntie ever!

Plus, I think I'm rubbing off on my mother. People kept telling me, 'you're so skinny! get some meat in your bones! Why are you so skinny??' and my mom would shamelessly answer, 'Drugs.'

I'm so proud of her.